..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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