Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
