went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
