sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
