i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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