woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
