If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
