"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize