We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
