my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
