i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
