i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
