I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
