Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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