i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
its not stalking. its research.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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