i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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