even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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