you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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