so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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