I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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