I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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