why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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