OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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