No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
