We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
