Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
