I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
