Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
