She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
