My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Small penises have feelings too.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
