Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
