So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
