Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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