i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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