Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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