hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize