I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
