My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
