it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
