I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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