the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
