I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
