Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
