i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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