oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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