Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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