it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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