I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
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