I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
