I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
