Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize