Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
