I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
