Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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