Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
