Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
