She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
