WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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