we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize