O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
