please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
