Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
