In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
