I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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